Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Bad Girls Club: Outer Space!

Outer space. Known sometimes as the deep-sea ocean in the sky. Full of floating asteroids and sinister satellites, space offers nothing but an extreme lack of oxygen and the elevated risk of developing a bladder infection. Just stating the facts, folks.

A few evenings ago I was slouching on the couch with my pal Em Sul, watching a television program about Russian prisons when, naturally, outer space was mentioned. After we both vocalized our adamant disdain of the great unknown, Em grew quiet, her head began to fill with intense thought bubbles waiting to burst. The suspense was killing me. Once one finally ruptured the announcement she made caused me to laugh and gasp in horror all in a single breath.

“What if they did a Bad Girls Club season in outer space? Zero gravity, zero consequences.”

If you are not familiar with the show let me get you caught up to speed right quick. Bad Girls Club is a shameless reality show on the Oxygen channel that pits a fist full of weave wearing, high heel toddling, blouse busting, drink sloshing sluts who most usually suffer from some form of alcohol poisoning and or rage/anger addiction. Now you can imagine my amusement at the idea of drunken attention whores battling it out 20,000 leagues above the sea. Not sure how well hot tubs and flaming cocktails fair in an anti-gravity setting but good god what I’d give to see that scenario play out.

I forgot to mention that there is no official prizewinner at the end of the two months in the house. Just a trashed mansion and a mattress littered swimming pool. The bad girl who leaves with the same number of bags as she arrived with and a fully intact weave is assumed to be the victor. BGC: Outer Space…a girl can dream can’t she?

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