Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Hard-Boiled Laziness

Some situations in life are meant to be strategically circumnavigated, like mountain passes and raging rivers, but using a short cut to boil eggs is as egregious as greeting someone with a wet handshake. Soggy hands are the worst.

With that said, simply imagine my dismay when people ask where they can find pre-made hard-boiled eggs. That sounds as appetizing as purchasing already toasted loaves of bread or pre-soaked cereal. Can you imagine what pioneer folk would think of our outlandish lack of effort? The disappointment on their faces when they discover that they will actually have to boil the eggs themselves is painful to watch.

Here is a quick list of tasks that should NOT be completed with the use of a short cut:

1.)   Removing nail polish

2.)   Root canal

3.)   Colonoscopy

4.)   Brushing of the teeth

5.)   Body hair waxing

6.)   Curing meat

7.)   Circumcision

8.)   Cooking pasta

9.)   Rain dancing

10.) Window-shopping

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