Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

TOUCHED BY A GHOST

Are you frequently fondled by the afterlife? Did a ghost capture your virginity without your knowledge or permission? Do you randomly and suddenly suffer physical violations perpetrated by a paranormal entity?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above then I am here to let you know that there is a place that offers help. Rejoice, you are not alone in your struggle. The Touched By a Ghost Foundation and Hotline Center was created by victims for victims. The twenty-two hour a day call center specializes in counseling those who are subjected to senseless sexual attacks from pulseless predators.

Have skeleton fingers fiddled your nipples, has an erect shadow man made your uterus burn, maybe an evil spirit gave your grandma a hickey when you weren’t looking. If a ghost has molested you know that there are those out there like you who have dealt with similar spooky, sexy situations.

Longtime caller turned counselor Tina Winslow has plenty of unwanted experience with pervert spirits, which makes her listening and answering sessions a once in a lifetime experience. Exercise your secrets. Delegate your fears. Don’t lose yourself in the music or the moment. Call now. 1-555-BOO-SIKE. We are here to help. Call now.

Ellyn Ussery

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