Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Shouts in the Dark! Halloween Edition

YOU: Super sweet babe dressed in candy corn outfit at the Strapford-upon-Revlon Spooky hayride. Saw you standing at the pig in the blanket booth and fell shoulder over heels with your stunning physique.

ME: Headless Horseman ride operator. If you could find it in your heart to look past my hideous physical deformities I think we could have a really great time.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

YOU: Band of brats who put a flaming bag of dog poop on my doorstep. You ruined my night and my precious name-embroidered Sky Mall foot mat with your shitty trick.

ME: Disgruntled citizen looking for revenge. Damn you kids, damn you!!!!!!!

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

YOU: Creepy guy at the Pleasant Valley XXX adult movie megaplex. You rented my favorite Halloween porno, Hoax and Pokes and Prods.

ME: Lonely girl looking for love in all the wrong places. Have you ever seen Frankenstein Fingers the Maid? We could sneak some snacks and watch naughty flocks. Boo(bs)!  

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