Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Shouts in the Dark


YOU: Cute dreaded blonde chick ranting and raving about harvesting your new Farmville plot while sipping iced java at the Starbucks by the university campus.

ME: Guy in the Old Navy cargo shorts and flip-flops, obviously spying from behind my Men’s Fitness magazine admiring your online agricultural skills. Want to plant weeds with me sometime?        


ME: Totally shy gal sitting legs crossed on the third mat down on your left at the exorcism abs class at the 23 hour Fitness Universe on Senate Avenue. 

YOU: Making the cutest faces as you expelled that demon trapped inside of your yoga toned frame. Meet me next week for a light, mid afternoon snack at the dumpster behind La Madeline?


YOU: Preaching your doomsday fantasies to a less than enthusiastic crowd in the mall food court in front of the chick-fil-A. Your inner darkness excites me. 

ME: Browsing the sample trays at the Little Italy, Big Slice restaurant adjacent to your soapbox. Want to smoke, blow, and stroll through the Hot Topic sometime?

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