Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Big Girls Don’t Cry

There is a new hero in my life. Southwest Airlines reached new lows in customer service today when a frayed airline attendant threw two crying sisters off of a flight from Oakland to Dallas. The women were on their way to their father’s bedside following a recent heart attack. 

When one of the women asked the flight attended for a glass of white wine prior to takeoff, her sobriety was quickly questioned and her ass was grass. The blubbering siblings were quickly rebooked on a flight later in the day.

This particular situation brought to mind one of my favorite songs by renegade hobo musician Wesley Willis. “Northwest Airlines” recaps the singer’s tale of one unforgettable flight. In honor to pay tribute to the track I have remixed the song to fit the crying:( sister situation.

Once upon a time, I took an airplane ride
I went to Dallas, Texas
That was a bumpy trip
I enjoyed myself, crying in the air

Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines

While I was in the air, I had a decent time
The aircraft was serving soft drinks and snacks
It was a tiring trip
It was an obnoxious flight

Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines

The ladies on the airplane were grieving
I chatted with them a lot
I was having a frightful time
It was a violating flight

Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines
Southwest Airlines

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One comment on “Big Girls Don’t Cry

  1. laura
    September 30, 2011

    My friend and I are were kicked of a SW airlines flight as well. My friend made an obnoxious remark, and the airline then questioned our sobriety and told us we were not allowed to take that flight. They did book us a later flight for that day. While waiting for our flight we went to the airport bar, where we each had one Margarita. Our server then came over to us, and informed us that the airline steward, who had apparently been following us around the airport, had told the bar we were well past the legal limit. So we went to our gate to wait for our next flight to board, where police were waiting, and told us we were to impaired to fly that day. My friend in voicing her frustration told the police this was total bullshit and was promptly arrested. SW airlines sucks.

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This entry was posted on August 2, 2011 by in All the Funny Things, Smear Stuff and tagged , , , .

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