Turning Shit into Gold since 2006
Gwyneth Paltrow has taken a few rib cage blows from the Smear crew over the years, so in keeping true to our in-depth coverage standards act of 1994, we have decided to take a few more hockey stick shots at her expense.
Now let me clarify something, there is a huge difference between unprovoked taunting and setting yourself up for humiliation. If Gwyneth would have simply stuck to her water spice diets and humidor yoga mats we might have spared her some heartache. Instead she chose to star in a movie about a washed up Nashville twang wreck with enough skeletons in her closet to fill a graveyard.
‘Country Strong’ is the unbelievably ridiculous name given to the movie. The first time I watched the preview I was convinced it was a joke or one of those silly spoofs you see now a days. Upon further investigation it was indeed deemed an actual theatrical release.
If going to what must have been the most tepid premier of her outdated career wasn’t enough, PalPal, who must be fulfilling some type of lost bet, starred on an episode of Glee. This bilingual performance was a prelude to her biggest mistake since gaining all of that weight for her role in ‘Shallow Hal’.
When are actors going to learn that they are not always welcome to all kinds of award shows. The 2010 Country Music Awards proved to be the greatest under achievement of hype since Tina Turner joined a cult. Hunched over her heavy guitar, Gwyneth Paltrow Coldplay’s tense body language conveyed to those in the room and through the television screen that she too had become physically sick of the lengths that were taken to enhance her public image. Her live duet with Vince Gill was more uncomfortable than watching parents kiss their children on the lips.
Best female vocalist of the year, Miranda Lambert could not help but snarl through a performance that made me question Paltrow’s credentials. This woman once walked across the Academy’s stage with a trophy in hand and here she was reduced to the level of fame worthy of a semi successful American Idol audition.
On a lighter note, we wish G.P. the best forever. Good luck cleaning up this mess.
*Note to the reader: If you are one of those idiots who is going to be offended by the things written here about an actress that you or I have never met or have no personal connection to, please save your angry comments for another day. There is nothing more unattractive than someone losing their cool on a message board in the cybercafe world.