Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Pack It In

There is an old urban legend motto that goes something like this, “If you can get something free from your neighbors take it, because chances are they owe you something.” Although the originator of that quote remains anonymous to this day the meaning still lingers years after the statement.  

What I am ultimately trying to get at is that the lack of wordgossip posts recently weighs greatly on the shoulders of one of my neighbors who suddenly stopped the free ride my roommate and I had on their wireless connection wave. Damn you username dynex, may your first-born be lactose intolerant.  

Since then I have been forced to face one of my deepest fears. It took a good two weeks without free internet access to finally come to the conclusion that my only option left was to do what scared me the most, taking a lap top to a coffee shop. But here I am, tippy typing in a mock living room setting with three strangers at a local coffee-house. My inner pride is mercilessly poking fun at my inner cheap skate and I feel like an asshole, but most of the people here seem to be sketching Japanimation characters in amateur notebooks so I don’t feel too bad.

Instead of sticking to one particular topic today I would like to take this time to share some of the things I learned while off-line. 

1.) Not sure if anyone else has noticed that Justin Bieber fever is the real deal, but I must say that I am really concerned about America’s obsession with that little boy’s hair cut. What is there not to understand? It is literally someone’s job to blow dry his wet skull and swoop it to one side every day. A healthier hobby needs to be found before this kid grows up and starts to go bald, because when his hair goes what will we have to talk about as a nation?  

2.) After making the leap to internet trolling in public places I have discovered that many people actually prefer to doodle while sipping caffeine infused beverages at a java joint. At least two in five customers at a Starbucks is sketching an inanimate object or an object of desire at any given hour of the day.

3.) Fashionable fashion trends come in like evening tides and at some point recede back into the crunchy pages of style magazines. Since we are now in a period of extreme 1980s clothing revival, I predict that the next major nostalgic shift will be a dive back into the early 90s grunge scene. It will be a movement so strong that even the most resistant follower will soon be slouching around in oversized flannel shirts and Dr. Martin’s ankle lace boots.

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This entry was posted on August 8, 2010 by in All the Funny Things.

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