Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Obesity by the Beach

The city of Corpus Christi, TX, has many things to be proud of.  It is a city rich in salt water, hemp laced sea shell jewelry, and cheap ‘No fear’ t-shirts, but lately it has been a city saturated in calories. This week the birthplace of What-a-burger and Spring Break was named the fattest city in the United States of America. Thanks to the abundance of over sized portions served at almost every meal and a complete lack of motivational spirit this beach town by the Gulf has a population whose eating habits are as shady as the grey waters that slap against the slippery jetties.

Again, I am no food critic and hold no degree in food prep fundamentals.  This kind of criticism coming from a girl who used to suck BBQ sauce from the tiny McDonald’s condiment cups as a child is a bit like coffee calling the kettle a whore, but if you mange to out-weigh cities like Houston and Philadelphia than obesity is tantamount to an epidemic, and epidemics spread faster than crabs on a cupcake. That means three out of five chulas, vatos, and beach bums are fifty pounds or more overweight.  There is obviously a major problem if a city of less than 300,000 can manage to over eat beyond that of a much more populous metropolitan area.

For every result there is an explanation. When I heard that Corpus had taken the number one spot on the less than honorable Men’s Fitness list I began to rack my brain for reasons why this could be. Then I remembered dining at a restaurant there during a childhood vacation to CCTX that pretty much sums up the matter.

There was a place by the name of Wet Jacks or Tidal Waves, something down those lines that instead of booths like any normal burger joint had a bunch of awkwardly attached surfboards that were too narrow  for plates and too slick to keep a cold mug of brew from sliding onto the floor. Mystery solved; people who eat off of surfboards instead of surf on them usually get really fat.

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This entry was posted on May 9, 2010 by in Uncategorized.

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