Smear Campaign

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Malibu Beach Nightmare

By no means am I a music critic. In the sixth grade I mistook the tuba for a trumpet and spent the next year randomly blowing into the giant instrument unknowingly, so as you can see I have absolutely no validity in the field. But who hasn’t bought a CD because the cover art looked cool? Clearly this was parking lot lust at first sight.

I have stumbled upon a sequence of songs that makes me feel like a curious teenage girl discovering her sexuality all over again. From the cover of the album it looks like that is how these guys felt too. The album is called ‘Back to Mystery City’ and the band is Hanoi Rocks.

The trio of songs that have captured my heart are the perfect combination of rock & roll & metal soul: perfect for catching extreme UV rays, jaywalking, riding your bike without hands, drinking frosty beverages in a parking lot, shoplifting from Claire’s, dumping L.A. Looks gel into your hair, wearing tight jeans, playing arcade games in a drab mall setting, and skipping school.

Each track has its own flavor without discriminating against the rest of the songs on the record. Here is a quick rundown of what they mean to me.

Malibu Beach Nightmare- From what I can tell this song is about finding a hot babe and hanging out at the beach with her until the sun goes down. Winter is over and fun in the sun is the only thing that matters. Repetitive, but super catchy.

Mental Beat- You know when you are trying to sleep but there is a riff stuck in your skull that won’t let you rest? This track describes that feeling without exploiting the emotion. Get ready to dance like it’s the prom and the only thing in your stomach is Malibu and Red Bull. A real fist pumper.

Tooting Bec Wreck- Finally we come to the finale in this trio of rock tunes. Tooting is a section of London, England, known for its run down shops and low life drug culture. The Wreck is a six-plus minute song about the trials and tribulations of living there in the 1980s, and judging by the spaced out minds of Hanoi Rocks, they were not kidding.

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This entry was posted on May 3, 2010 by in All the Funny Things.

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