Turning Shit into Gold since 2006
On this blustery December afternoon, as the ladies of Smear Campaign strolled the streets towards a warm bar stool, our attention was grabbed by two dumpy women occupying the time of a police officer on downtown patrol. The more vocal of the two dead weights across the street sluggishly bobbed her head as she out-of-ear-shot blabbed to the cop.
From a distance it was clear to see that these women were able-bodied enough to dress themselves, but on this day they had obviously chosen not to do so. Their hair lay limp in unattended ponytails that lazily looped behind their swollen necks and their sleepy time t-shirts were thick with stains from long ago lunches. The hideous ensemble was topped off, or should I say bottomed off, with baggy elastic waist back-up drawstring pajama pants.
I don’t claim to be any sort of fashion expert of any kind, but there is something utterly shameful about adults who wander through the day in pajama fashions. Yes, if you are a four-year-old, it’s Sunday morning and Dad is taking you to gather breakfast supplies at the grocery store then it is not a frowned upon practice to shuffle up and down the aisles in Wal-Mart slippers and sleepy time slacks.
The offense I take to the whole PJ’s in the daytime thing is when non-retarded, degree obtaining or degree holding individuals decide to flop through a public place in comfy jammies as if they had just woken up and would really rather be wiping milk off their chins as they drool over Saturday morning cartoons.
When are we, as a progressive society, going to step up and stop the glamorization of pajamas worn in public? When are we going to wake up in the morning, put on big people clothes, and conduct ourselves in a tidy manner? I could care less if it is your day off or you have no clean clothes to speak of, put on some real fucking garments for Mrs. Marple’s sake!
I ask all public pajama paraders to put down their resistance to reality and pick up a blouse, a jacket with a collar, or anything with a button clasp and embrace adulthood. No matter how little learning you’ve got, as long as you are dressed in daytime attire than respect will come your way. But if you choose to lounge through life in snug slippers and bulky pull overs, don’t expect much more than a swift kick in your Pooh bear patterned behind.