Smear Campaign

Turning Shit into Gold since 2006

Eat Fast, Die Young


This day in age, time devours daylight quicker than Paula Dean on an ‘Eat Til You Drop’ fried chicken spree, so one must live fast to keep up with the Johnson. Not one citizen, at least the legal ones, has to pull her own berries or plow his own wheat field for hunger defying results, making it possible for meals to be conveniently cooked and consumed quicker than a Bulimic on a candy bar binge. These savory time savers leave the eater with loads of extra time to participate in activities once considered strictly posh pastimes.

Exactly 365 days before Swanson frozen foods debuted its first frozen meal, the first TV tray was mysteriously advertised in a secret Sears Roebuck subliminal message during the 1952 airing of the classic I Love Lucy episode, The Candy Factory!

hamburgerhelplessInspired not only by the historical significance of the frozen dinner meal, it was the putrid stomach expanding abilities of the world’s number one hot dog chomping champion Joey Chestnut and his record shattering 66 hot dogs in twelve minutes that motivated Smear Campaign food enthusiasts to dangerously attempt the grotesque sampling of twelve frozen dinner dishes in less than three hours.      We nauseously present to you in breathtaking barf bag vision, Eat Fast…Die Young: A Smear study in fictional, fact based food science.

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This entry was posted on October 10, 2009 by in Smear Stuff.


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